My dear trust,
I am so sorry to write this to you on behalf of all those who have ditched you cruelly.
I want to apologise for not being loyal to you. For years, you loved me, cared for me, were affectionate towards me, but I was such a silly person who could not recognise you or rather understand or value you. Ideally, I should not be forgiven for such a cruel deed.
You had had a special place in my heart and mind, but, I, an Idiot, could never ever love you back the same way. Moreover, I should not be daring to ask you an apology because I actually do not deserve it. Instead, a worse punishment should help you heal. Thus, I am again extremely sorry for expecting any kindness from you.
It took years to get the fact that it is not easy to live without you and survive by sharing you with this world. Nevertheless, now that I have realised it well that 'my world' has only wounded you at every step, let's just prepare ourselves not to get hurt by anyone anymore, and yeah! this time anyone means anyone .
This is because not everyone is good enough for you. I came to know this as one-by-one I saw and experienced things that I wish I could understand earlier, but, no worries. I have started analysing it well with my growing age and intellect to make sure that noone in this world can take you for granted.
I want to ensure that I am always going to love you and will treasure you amongst the only gems I have in my life, believe me.
For the past few years, this world has been luring me with its pseudo face and maybe I was too innocent to make out its artificial emotions.
One day, I was a princess, the other day I was a trash. One moment, it hugged me, in the other, I was kicked out, reprimanded, scolded, abused. For some days, I was precious; for others, I was an idiot, a fool who knows nothing at all and is wrong in whatever she does. She could never do a good thing because somehow it has to hurt someone or the other.
If I would share you with one, the other can not be believed; if I ask other one to hold you for me, it will distance itself because it would be a coward. The irony is that for the 25 years of my life, I always thought that I am a coward but no, I am not, not at all.
This so-called 'my world' can not get me even though I belong to it only. It wants that I must do whatever it desires. I should not dare to think of my own good. The only good thing I can or I must do is suffocate myself without complaining and being numb. Earlier, I even did that on many occasions and in the process I smothered you without giving any second thought.
It just happened. I don't know how, why and when but yes! it happened and I won't deny it. I wasted, I ruined, I spoiled, I ended too much of and from my life. I lost you and I hated myself.
Today, as you know that I am apologsing to you (it's completely up to you to forgive or punish me more), but, you see, the world will interfere - it will question, it will observe, it will judge, it will analyse, it will criticise.
For that matter, it might even make an attempt again to snatch you away from me but this time I promise I am yours, only yours, to the eternity!
With a promise,
Yours (I)
I am so sorry to write this to you on behalf of all those who have ditched you cruelly.
I want to apologise for not being loyal to you. For years, you loved me, cared for me, were affectionate towards me, but I was such a silly person who could not recognise you or rather understand or value you. Ideally, I should not be forgiven for such a cruel deed.
You had had a special place in my heart and mind, but, I, an Idiot, could never ever love you back the same way. Moreover, I should not be daring to ask you an apology because I actually do not deserve it. Instead, a worse punishment should help you heal. Thus, I am again extremely sorry for expecting any kindness from you.
It took years to get the fact that it is not easy to live without you and survive by sharing you with this world. Nevertheless, now that I have realised it well that 'my world' has only wounded you at every step, let's just prepare ourselves not to get hurt by anyone anymore, and yeah! this time anyone means anyone .
This is because not everyone is good enough for you. I came to know this as one-by-one I saw and experienced things that I wish I could understand earlier, but, no worries. I have started analysing it well with my growing age and intellect to make sure that noone in this world can take you for granted.
I want to ensure that I am always going to love you and will treasure you amongst the only gems I have in my life, believe me.
For the past few years, this world has been luring me with its pseudo face and maybe I was too innocent to make out its artificial emotions.
One day, I was a princess, the other day I was a trash. One moment, it hugged me, in the other, I was kicked out, reprimanded, scolded, abused. For some days, I was precious; for others, I was an idiot, a fool who knows nothing at all and is wrong in whatever she does. She could never do a good thing because somehow it has to hurt someone or the other.
If I would share you with one, the other can not be believed; if I ask other one to hold you for me, it will distance itself because it would be a coward. The irony is that for the 25 years of my life, I always thought that I am a coward but no, I am not, not at all.
This so-called 'my world' can not get me even though I belong to it only. It wants that I must do whatever it desires. I should not dare to think of my own good. The only good thing I can or I must do is suffocate myself without complaining and being numb. Earlier, I even did that on many occasions and in the process I smothered you without giving any second thought.
It just happened. I don't know how, why and when but yes! it happened and I won't deny it. I wasted, I ruined, I spoiled, I ended too much of and from my life. I lost you and I hated myself.
Today, as you know that I am apologsing to you (it's completely up to you to forgive or punish me more), but, you see, the world will interfere - it will question, it will observe, it will judge, it will analyse, it will criticise.
For that matter, it might even make an attempt again to snatch you away from me but this time I promise I am yours, only yours, to the eternity!
With a promise,
Yours (I)
 |
| For trust is not meant to be broken! |
No comments:
Post a Comment